Twas Twas the fright before Christmas; the merchants did grouse, Not a damn thing was selling, not even a house; Restocking was futile with goods still on shelves, And the streets
were now teeming with unemployed elves. The FSA warned of a housing collapse, An environment hitherto known just to Japs. And Shanghai and Shenzhen encountered sharp
falls An ominous sign when east Asia appalls. (Only Tesco was thriving – and that was before ‘Fresh and Easy’ was launched – how Wal-Mart did guffaw.) The bankers were
choking on alphabet soup Of CDOs, SIVs; all sorts of gloop. Bond salesmen were sweating, awake in their beds, With visions of dole queues (and widening spreads).
In Floridian fund pools there was such a clatter As portfolios blew up with foul fecal matter. Their managers, much like their bonds, were distressed, With the agents who’d
rated them under arrest, And the banks that had sold everyone down the river Saw their equity ratios down to a sliver; Man turned against man, and the brokers the same
Lashed out at their rivals (it was all just so lame): Punk, Ziegel slashed Goldman Sachs, Morgan and Merrill, And Bear Stearns and Lehman they did also imperil, The markets
a-brim with black swans and fat tails – What happens when mania with credit prevails. The quant funds were savaged as bell curves deflated And CFOs had to be strongly
sedated. Will central banks save us ? The stock markets rally, But interbank lending now feels like Death Valley. The bulls now see good news in looming recession But try to
get upbeat about repossession. The bank stocks are cheap now but could yet get cheaper As retailers cower at the sight of the Reaper. Diversification in assets should work If
lending conditions continue berserk. Some market neutrality also appeals For when event-driven runs out of new deals, And if the unthinkable does now unfold There’ll be
merit in silver and still more in gold. Amid confidence crisis and capital flight
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
; the merchants did grouse, Not a damn thing was selling, not even a house; Restocking was futile with goods still on shelves, And the streets
were now teeming with unemployed elves. The FSA warned of a housing collapse, An environment hitherto known just to Japs. And Shanghai and Shenzhen encountered sharp
falls An ominous sign when east Asia appalls. (Only Tesco was thriving – and that was before ‘Fresh and Easy’ was launched – how Wal-Mart did guffaw.) The bankers were
choking on alphabet soup Of CDOs, SIVs; all sorts of gloop. Bond salesmen were sweating, awake in their beds, With visions of dole queues (and widening spreads).
In Floridian fund pools there was such a clatter As portfolios blew up with foul fecal matter. Their managers, much like their bonds, were distressed, With the agents who’d
rated them under arrest, And the banks that had sold everyone down the river Saw their equity ratios down to a sliver; Man turned against man, and the brokers the same
Lashed out at their rivals (it was all just so lame): Punk, Ziegel slashed Goldman Sachs, Morgan and Merrill, And Bear Stearns and Lehman they did also imperil, The markets
a-brim with black swans and fat tails – What happens when mania with credit prevails. The quant funds were savaged as bell curves deflated And CFOs had to be strongly
sedated. Will central banks save us ? The stock markets rally, But interbank lending now feels like Death Valley. The bulls now see good news in looming recession But try to
get upbeat about repossession. The bank stocks are cheap now but could yet get cheaper As retailers cower at the sight of the Reaper. Diversification in assets should work If
lending conditions continue berserk. Some market neutrality also appeals For when event-driven runs out of new deals, And if the unthinkable does now unfold There’ll be
merit in silver and still more in gold. Amid confidence crisis and capital flight
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
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